Sorry!! I am BAD!

I know I have not posted lately and I am sorry for that for anyone that does read my blogs!! Well if you haven't already seen my charts I started my period Sunday afternoon. Was disappointed but I know that everything happens for a reason and it is not my time but I will happily await for it to be!! Today we had a awesome day I went with Dustin on a field trip to the magik theater it was awesome we also played at a park down the path from there. Then we went and ate with daddy at a resturant on the other side of town. I posted pictures on my myspace I will post a few here that I like from the park!

wondering

I swear the wondering is what kills you the most. Daily I think WHY does this happen why do you wonder so much why can't you just hang out and test when you are relaly far along? Truth is I dont think there are many women out there that can its like holding a lotto ticket and having a chance at the lotto and not scratching it. I am 11 DPO right now I have been getting faint lines today but they are not with alot of color so I am not calling it. Also to those who read my blog yes you will be the ones to find out first but if you are close to me personally please keep it to yourself because I will not be telling family until Easter time. If you are reading this blog and know me in person it's because I trust you and I know you will keep my secrets. Sp s/s I have been falling on this! Yesterday I went to the doctor because I was feeling like the flu was coming on. I went and Dr agreed with me and gave me tamiflu and today I feel pretty well! Back to normal almost! whohoo for that because Dustin's party is this weekend. SOOO back on track to the s/s

11dpo

-boob tenderness has gone away most of the time just tightness every now and then

-nausous

-tired

Dustin had a play last night it went AWESOME!! I have tons of video! Here are some pics!!

8 DPO

God I swear the 2WW is the longest. LOL Crazy really. So today I broke down and tested I feel so dispointed in myself for not being strong enough to pee on something I swear no one is safe in my house the dog might be next! LMAO Of course it was negative which I knew it would be no matter what it is really to early because my LP I am guessing is around 14 days. So that would be 6 days before my next expected period. So I will test at 10DPO next I swear I will be strong tomorrow and keep my bodily functions to myself! I took Chloe to the doctor today (my neice) was horriable long story and a big mess and she lost her insurance and she is a sick little girl. Ughh! Dustin's 6th Birthday is coming up I am being really relaxed a little to much prolly I really dunno how many people are going to be there I kept it really small and simple. Which reminds me I need to start on the little party bags for the kiddos. Dustin has a play on Thursday so I will prolly test Thursday night? I dunno I will prolly get to eager though and test in the AM time to tell you the truth! GL to me trying not to pee on objects!

7DPO

Sooo 7DPO today and starting to go a little crazy! LOL I felt so good about not getting crazy peeing sticks this month but I CAVED!! LMAO I know I am bad but it was a BFN but it's really early I know to early. Today I was on call but I went in for a few hours tomorrow I will be oncall again and go in and work office for a few hours again as well. Going with Chloe to some appts though. Sooo s/s for 7dpo!

Here they are
-bloated I feel heavy and round
-tender nipples
-light headaches
-Craving icecream the past few days but I get cravings of different things every now and then.
-thats IT! Nothing else LOL

I am going to go do Dustin's homework with him now take care!!

6DPO

Well I am 6DPO today and just playing the whole waiting game! LOL We had a great day! We cleaned up the house this morning and ate breakfast together. Then we all got bathed and ready and went to look at more houses. Went to the store today also and got my FRER tests LOL Hopefully I won't take them all in one day! LOL I am trying to hold off though! Parts of me are starting to get pretty nervous like if I am pg am I ready and so forth what if this is all a whole mess of hurt and badness. What if the baby doesn't make it. Things like making sure I put away money for a funeral are going thru my mind driving me insane I wish I was a regular person that could just be happy when I got a + sign on a test and celebrate. I am scared deathly. I just want one more baby I will stop after that. I just want one more. I want a baby in the room. I want people to be happy visiting me not crying but happy and laughing and making jokes about the babies looks and making fun of John because he is going to be broke. I have thought of these moments thru and thru hoping they come to be memories in a year or so. What do I do if I lose the baby John wouldn't let me try again I don't think he would. I am scared about it. All these emotions maybe I am pregnant! LMAO! WELL ON THE OTHER HAND!!

6DPO S/S are..
-Sore NIPPLES not breast but nipples only
-CM has dried up completely
THAT IS IT! LOL Nothing else

I did do something fun today I did the chinese birthchart on parents.com I am 27 and the baby would be concieved in Febuary. I checked with Dustin's stats and it was right about him! Whohoo!
http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/how-to/boy-girl/boy-or-girl-ancient-chinese-birth-chart-ages-25-to-31-february/
So according to this I would be having a GIRL!

I would be happy John and Dustin would kill me!