So I am bad at this blog thing....

I am really thinking about deleting this blog and starting just a general family blog with no TTC information on there as I do not want my family knowing about our TTC efforts.  Feeling really down about it lately we went thru 3 cycles of clomid and that is all the doctor would give us so now we are on to the next phase in seeing a specialist.  I am awaiting a call back from my OBGYN on which one we will be making a appointment with.  I have a feeling the next few months are not going to be very well for us.  We shall see and pray!  I am not sure anyone even follows this TTC blog.... 

Maybe a bust....

So I am 14 DPO and still no BFP all have been BFN so far.  I have had some pretty bad cramping and pulling in my ovaries which scare me into thinking I have a couple nasty cysts.  Which I am hoping won't stall our efforts on clomid.  I guess we will just have to wait and see I think I will have to buy some stock in pregnancy tests though!!

10 dpo....

Still waiting on those two lines to show....LOL  I am cramping alot which is kind of scaring me in into thinking I might have some extra cysts hanging around on my ovaries.  I really hope not.   I did test today and it was a BFN but hopefully Monday will bring brighter lines!  I am not testing again until monday at aleast.  We shall see what the early week brings.  Monday is also my dads birthday and they are wanting to get together later that week so would be a neat time to maybe tell everyone.  John's birthday is that Sunday which I think I would start my period on that day if not pregnant LMAO  Poor guy!

8 dpo and waiting.....

Hopefully I will get a little punkin this month!!  The 2 week wait is always the worst!  I swear that is when women go the craziest you can't wait to get here but when you are here you can't wait to move on again!  LMAO  Crazy cycle of TTC!!  I am still hoping I get a nice fat BFP for John's birthday.  I keep thinking of the ways I might tell him and then the family.  My dad and John both want to do something with the whole family next weekend so that would be a great time to tell everyone that we would be expecting #2 soon.  Who knows maybe the baby might be born on my birthday!  That would be a great gift! 

So s/s of me?
Well at 8 DPO I have sore breasts always have those though,  I am having alot of gas and cramps and bowel issues.  I feel very bloated and constipated TMI I KNOW!  I seem to have more CM this time around but allergies have been in the air so who knows.  My temps have been great chart has never looked better!  Can't wait to see a green plus sign on it though!!

5 DPO lazy Sunday

Today was so pretty I just didn't want it to end.  I wanted to be caught up in the moment of my small family all day and not think about work on Monday!  BLAH!  I am 5 DPO today and starting to get really eager with the wondering game I really hate this part of the 2 week wonder.  Hopefully this will be the last one for me!  I know someday I will miss this looking back though.  I missed TTC for Dustin after I had him the excitement and the joy of that BFP when it came in two lines!  Hopefully I will look back and smile on those moments yet again for hopefully a little girl !!  LMAO  I sooo want to buy pink and lavender crap!  LOL  So here's to another few days of wondering and waiting and chewing all my nails off!!

Cross Hairs on FF rock!

My wonderful chart!  I have never had a chart so neat!  It's awesome almost like I am a normal person ovulating on time!  Whohoo go me!  Hope I get some good results this cycle!  We shall see how long I can hold out testing!  John's birthday is on Febuary 7th <3

Another one <3

I just love seeing the ++ OPKS so early in the cycle!  It's so exciting to me and I am on cloud nine today!  Happily cleaning and moving around the house knowing my little egg is there hopefully having a party!  So exciting I really hope maybe this month with ovulation taking place so much earlier then I normally do the egg quality is great and results in a BFP for us right in time for daddy's birthday!  Would be great =0)  I have taken so many OPK's the past 12-14 hours and all dark positives darker then the control line I took a picture of one just for fun I decided I would try to start taking more pictures to put on here to dress the blog up a little more =0)

Test line on the right =0)

All HAIL to clomid!

So I am inlove with the little pill clomid today!  I am on CD 16 and got a ++ OPK today so whohoo I am in O town!!  So early!!  I am so excited about not having to wait forever and a day to ovulate once again!  This is just great!  Hopefully I get a nice quality eggy out of it and we have a baby coming soon!  If I did I could tell John on his birthday Febuary 7th and the rest of the family maybe on v-day!  This is so neat! 

Ups and Downs

Everyday is a different turn and twist on the fertility train it seems.  One day you think oh I might be ovulating then one day you feel nothing!  I think about before we were TTC # 2 and not knowing of ANY s/s going on because I was not paying attention and now I think back and I am like how did I not notice!!  I have learned alot this round of TTC and I feel no matter what it has taught me so much that I think I can use that knowledge to help others in need.  I am really thinking of switching jobs and maybe working for a fertility clinic as a nurse there.  Would help if they were actually talking to someone who has been in their worried shoes.  All though I am more relaxed this time because I do thank the lord "at least I have one"  I feel so guilty sometimes on like the baby center boards whining or worring about it being over a year and still no results but hey at least I have my son and I need to make sure I keep that in mind.  When we were TTC Dustin I remember the despair in thinking...What if I never have any children and I want to be such a good mother?  I remember my heart aching,  it still aches for another child just one more to complete our family but sometimes I really feel I am asking to much of our wonderful god.  I mean he gave me my HUGE miracle a baby that beat all odds to survive and fought to be here.  Am I slapping him in his face and saying HEY that's not enough?  I ponder that all the time but then on the other hand I have Dustin asking me daily for a brother.  I feel bad he is alone in this world and when we are passed to heaven he will be by himself on this world except for his huge crew of cousins.  Then I get the crack head or low low income families that are on their 13th babies and they get taken away by CPS everytime.  These beautiful precious perfect 10 toe 10 finger babies born full term that are given to these people.  Why not me?  We have this beautiful home now all full of love and nice things it's such a wonderful place to grow up I just wish one more could enjoy......

Saturday...

Saturday's I have off I wish would last forever....Got tons done today cleaning and the what not's of owning a new home.  I am truely happy and at peace here I hope that brings more calmness into maybe concieving soon!  I am still nervous about the weight factor let's just face it I am way over weight I was doing good going to the gym before the move and I really need to get back into gear but I always find myself not wanting to leave the serinity of my new abode.  I love it here and always have things that I need to get done.  I guess I will just need to find a happy medium!  On the TTC front I am still awaiting the big "O"  wishing it would hurry so I know if the clomid was successful in moving up my ovulation date.  I was bragging to John the other day saying how nice I actually felt and I didn't have side effects like the time we had taken it before.  BUT I spoke tooo soon!!  Yesterday at work the hot flashes and sweat attacks came on!  LOL  I really kinda got a kick out of it.  Oh well the price of love right??  LOL 

Again already!

Yes I have neglected my blogging duties and have yet again let this blog become almost non-exsistant.  But I don't think many read it anyhow but at least it can give a person some sort of stress relief about life and as we know what most of this blog is about TTC just one more child...and on that note I am still not pregnant course we have had a interesting and stressful few months.  The last time I had written I don't even think we had found a house yet or sold ours.  Isn't it amazing how life changes so fastly a few months ago I was in despair about living in my old house and wanting a new one and wanting life changes.  And now here I sit in my wonderful peaceful home what a dream it is.  I love my new life and I count my blessings daily.  I find myself talking to god alot more then I use to not just asking for favors but also thanking him for the ones he has given me.  TTC wise was hard because we were so stressed out with the move and a 1 month delayed closing time my little egg was held hostage in the ramage of stress!  As soon as we moved in the house I FINALLY ovulated!  But it was a no go for that time and on we go to another round of the game of TTC!  We did do something different this month though we added Clomid finally,  I started taking my 100 mg last week and am currently on CD 9 awaiting my little egg to pop out!  Hopefully we catch it this time but if we don't we will eventually.  I get so nervous about the possiblities of another premature baby sometimes and it scares me but I just shrug my shoulders and say life is one big possiblitie.  I will just have faith and keep moving that I will have my full term fatty. 

Dustin is doing great moving right along we have still had a great time with his health lately he did have a bit of cedar fever which blew him behind 4 pounds but we will get them back.  He is having a hard time adjusting to school and is not wanting to complete his assignments in class and the teacher seems to think he is really cute and sort of lets him get away with it.  But I know he is testing her and we did have a conference this week and I told her not to put up with any of it because it would just keep happening.  I also went out to our local library today and got cards for me and Dustin to get him more active in reading.  We have books here but I just thought he might think its a cool thing when he gets to go to a special place you know?



We shall see as the clock keeps tickkking.......tick....tock!!

SOOOO!!!

I am sooo happy right now!!!  We finally got a offer on our house!!  And we are accepting it!!  So now we can move on with our lives and move to a new city that we sooo love.  I also in the midst of all of this have ovulated a little earlier then usual!!  LMAO!  I am 2 DPO now I should get CH's on my chart tomorrow after I temp in the morning.  So happy what if we get both of our wishes at one time!!  LMAO  Would be a blessing!!  Course now I need to find a new house and that is proving way harder then I thought!  We are set to close on November 18th!  Life is going to get busy!!!

Well what a weekend....

Had a great birthday weekend just a really relaxing one.  TTC wise still no positive OPK's wishing in some ways it would just hurry so we could get on with the clomid next cycle I am interested to see what my O date would be on the clomid.  When I was TTC with Dustin I was not charting only BD every other day the whole month pretty much.  So that month that we conceived Dustin we were taking a break we only had BD twice.  Once Sept 18th and the other was towards the end of the month like the 27th or around that date.  I got my BFP + on October 7th and the Beta was 79 two days later.  I just really would be happier with a earlier O date would give us so many more chances to get our baby.  I am going to start on the working out stuff aswell while I am waiting for this cycle to pass really need to drop the weight fast.  I hope we sell the house somewhere inbetween as well!!  I need to make some APPTs too I need to see the hematologist and the cardiologist to get a check up.  Will try to do that tomorrow!  I need to start taking pictures for the blog too!  Will work on that!

Sooo I have been so bad!!

Been so bad about not doing this blog but I have decided to update it more often because it would be a great therapy tool. I am still pondering on doing a family blog aswell seeing as how I do not want everyone knowing our TTC buisness but would like to update some people on how we are doing in family life...Will have to think of that later on to see about opening a second blog maybe just about family and junk.....

Anywho!!

As for our TTC journey for baby # 2! Still have been trying with just the aid of metformin my cycles are still incrediably long and that is putting quite a length of time on the TTC process. I had a great last cycle still long of course but my test results from last cycle were very well!

TEST RESULTS:

5-7 DPO of last cycle
Prolactin 4.2
Progestrone 9.1

My Cycle day 3 blood work for starting this current cycle was
Testosterone 24
% of free testerone 1.73
Testersterone free 4.2
FSH 3.3
LH 3.1
Progesterone 0.6
TSH 3rd generation 1.88
Estradoil 60
CBC was great except my platelet count was up to 441 which I don't know about that I need to go back to my hematologist seeing as I have thrombophilia and I am on asprin so I don't think they should be that high.

So my results in a nut shell. If you view my charts you can see my follicular phase is WAY to long. So I really need clomid to help even the odds again I got a script for 100 mg. I got pregnant with Dustin very fast on clomid 4 cycles and it helped my period really be between 28-30 days long was great! We were wanting to not do clomid this time because John really wants everything laid back and natural blah blah but any woman knows that, that crap is for the birds cause we have babies on the brain!! LMAO So I have also been bad about the weight issue and fell off the wagon at the gym but this month I am sooo stepping it up! We also haven't sold the house yet and that is adding to my growing axniety of things I WISH it would just sell I am soooo tired of the worry over it but I must trust in my wonderful lord that it will sell at the exact time it is suppose to I just wish he could hurry it a little. As I think I am going to go crazy daily. My doctor also gave me some tips on TTC told me not to drink any tap water or non-organic milk because they put to many hormones in each and I can see the point because they do put large amounts of growth hormone and such in them. Sooo I will be looking for more organic foods instead! Tried the milk already don't taste much difference its a little thicker in a way but taste great. Lasts a long time in the fridge too!

Dustin is getting big and huge and weighs 42 pounds and is 43 inches tall he is soooo caught up and doing well. He has been a bit of a smart ass like his father in school though....grrrr......So we are working on that. John is still doing okay working hard as always he is such a good provider and the best man in the world. Feeling lucky today to have these two hearts in my life.....

Sorry!! I am BAD!

I know I have not posted lately and I am sorry for that for anyone that does read my blogs!! Well if you haven't already seen my charts I started my period Sunday afternoon. Was disappointed but I know that everything happens for a reason and it is not my time but I will happily await for it to be!! Today we had a awesome day I went with Dustin on a field trip to the magik theater it was awesome we also played at a park down the path from there. Then we went and ate with daddy at a resturant on the other side of town. I posted pictures on my myspace I will post a few here that I like from the park!

wondering

I swear the wondering is what kills you the most. Daily I think WHY does this happen why do you wonder so much why can't you just hang out and test when you are relaly far along? Truth is I dont think there are many women out there that can its like holding a lotto ticket and having a chance at the lotto and not scratching it. I am 11 DPO right now I have been getting faint lines today but they are not with alot of color so I am not calling it. Also to those who read my blog yes you will be the ones to find out first but if you are close to me personally please keep it to yourself because I will not be telling family until Easter time. If you are reading this blog and know me in person it's because I trust you and I know you will keep my secrets. Sp s/s I have been falling on this! Yesterday I went to the doctor because I was feeling like the flu was coming on. I went and Dr agreed with me and gave me tamiflu and today I feel pretty well! Back to normal almost! whohoo for that because Dustin's party is this weekend. SOOO back on track to the s/s

11dpo

-boob tenderness has gone away most of the time just tightness every now and then

-nausous

-tired

Dustin had a play last night it went AWESOME!! I have tons of video! Here are some pics!!

8 DPO

God I swear the 2WW is the longest. LOL Crazy really. So today I broke down and tested I feel so dispointed in myself for not being strong enough to pee on something I swear no one is safe in my house the dog might be next! LMAO Of course it was negative which I knew it would be no matter what it is really to early because my LP I am guessing is around 14 days. So that would be 6 days before my next expected period. So I will test at 10DPO next I swear I will be strong tomorrow and keep my bodily functions to myself! I took Chloe to the doctor today (my neice) was horriable long story and a big mess and she lost her insurance and she is a sick little girl. Ughh! Dustin's 6th Birthday is coming up I am being really relaxed a little to much prolly I really dunno how many people are going to be there I kept it really small and simple. Which reminds me I need to start on the little party bags for the kiddos. Dustin has a play on Thursday so I will prolly test Thursday night? I dunno I will prolly get to eager though and test in the AM time to tell you the truth! GL to me trying not to pee on objects!

7DPO

Sooo 7DPO today and starting to go a little crazy! LOL I felt so good about not getting crazy peeing sticks this month but I CAVED!! LMAO I know I am bad but it was a BFN but it's really early I know to early. Today I was on call but I went in for a few hours tomorrow I will be oncall again and go in and work office for a few hours again as well. Going with Chloe to some appts though. Sooo s/s for 7dpo!

Here they are
-bloated I feel heavy and round
-tender nipples
-light headaches
-Craving icecream the past few days but I get cravings of different things every now and then.
-thats IT! Nothing else LOL

I am going to go do Dustin's homework with him now take care!!

6DPO

Well I am 6DPO today and just playing the whole waiting game! LOL We had a great day! We cleaned up the house this morning and ate breakfast together. Then we all got bathed and ready and went to look at more houses. Went to the store today also and got my FRER tests LOL Hopefully I won't take them all in one day! LOL I am trying to hold off though! Parts of me are starting to get pretty nervous like if I am pg am I ready and so forth what if this is all a whole mess of hurt and badness. What if the baby doesn't make it. Things like making sure I put away money for a funeral are going thru my mind driving me insane I wish I was a regular person that could just be happy when I got a + sign on a test and celebrate. I am scared deathly. I just want one more baby I will stop after that. I just want one more. I want a baby in the room. I want people to be happy visiting me not crying but happy and laughing and making jokes about the babies looks and making fun of John because he is going to be broke. I have thought of these moments thru and thru hoping they come to be memories in a year or so. What do I do if I lose the baby John wouldn't let me try again I don't think he would. I am scared about it. All these emotions maybe I am pregnant! LMAO! WELL ON THE OTHER HAND!!

6DPO S/S are..
-Sore NIPPLES not breast but nipples only
-CM has dried up completely
THAT IS IT! LOL Nothing else

I did do something fun today I did the chinese birthchart on parents.com I am 27 and the baby would be concieved in Febuary. I checked with Dustin's stats and it was right about him! Whohoo!
http://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/how-to/boy-girl/boy-or-girl-ancient-chinese-birth-chart-ages-25-to-31-february/
So according to this I would be having a GIRL!

I would be happy John and Dustin would kill me!

Tired

Tired as ever! Well today was okay I was off work we went and looked at houses and had a great breakfast at Grumpys. I kept having mood swings though pretty bad I felt bad but I just couldn't help it but I think I was just tired. I went shopping for some gifts for Dustin as well and bought him a outfit to wear that I hope he likes on his birthday. I forgot to show it to him though when we got home and he is out like a light now. Ever since last night he has had a issue with nose bleeds like bad ones so I will keep a eye on that. As far as the fertility me! Temps are still good stayed the same I am still having fertile cm which is making me nervous I seem to have more now then when I was supposively ovulating? Nervous about that but I am just believing in the FF gods LMAO.
SOO

5 DPO
-mood swings
-sore boobs
-still some constipation
-Some Heartburn


We shall seeeeeeeeee!